It’s no secret to my family and friends that I don’t want children. I worked as a nanny for almost 10 years and I’m sure that has a lot to do with my decision. I also grew up a bit fast; helping my mom take care of my brother and sister when I was just a kid, maybe that has a little to do with it as well.
Last week I went to visit a friend who is married and has two kids of her own. The five of us went to meet her daughters teacher at an open house type of event. As I stood in the middle of this second grade classroom; colorful artwork hung on the walls, mini desks all in a row and a lively playground right out back; it started to really sink in. I began looking around at all of the “happy” families, watching the children run a muck and trying so hard not to notice the “adults” arguing over what they were gonna have for dinner that night. I suddenly realized that THIS was my definition of a nightmare.
I’ve always found it to be pretty foreign when I hear people say the only thing they’ve ever wanted in life is to have a family. My mom for example, she knew from a very young age that she had always wanted to be a mother. I have come across these people several times in my travels; people that say they have always had a yearning to be a parent, to have a family. What does that feel like exactly? Am I missing something here? Did that chromosome skip a generation? I literally can not comprehend. I love my cat to death, is that what this feeling you people speak of is like?
A friend once asked my stance on children and I told him that I don’t want them. He then proceeded to call me SELFISH. Wait, did you just call ME selfish because I DON’T want to bring an innocent child into this messed up world?!?! This comment has always stuck with me because to be honest, I believe quite the opposite. I believe having a baby is a pretty selfish act.
So the next time you ask me if I want kids and I answer with a very firm “No!” Please don’t go on a rant about how I am still young, and how I’ll change my mind one day. I never asked for your opinion.
Update: it is now 2022 and I still don’t want kids!
Song of the day: Stay Together For The Kids by Blink-182